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Rude Greeting Cards

We believe that rude and offensive humour leads to the funniest cards we have ever seen. Whether it’s sexual jokes, strong language or just straight up abusive. We have the perfect rude greeting card for your recipient

There are a certain type of people that like rude cards and more importantly, you need to know the right people for these to pay off. You don't want to be sending a rude card to someone who is going to get offended... Which seems to be a lot of people nowadays.

We have hundreds of brilliant rude cards that can suit many different occasions. Be warned - some are very offensive and insulting! You can refine your search by using the left-hand menu - for example, you can filter by things such as recipient type or occasion. Here are some our favourite rude card categories:

If these cards are slightly too much for you, we stock adult/risque cards which include cheeky sexual innuendos or small swear words, we don’t believe they are strong enough to make it into our Rude cards section. This is where it gets a little offensive.

Our selection of rude cards come from many different suppliers - we've spent many hours finding the best products in the country, so all your offensive greeting card needs are taken care of! If you like rude humour, you should check out our blog post on rude jokes. This guide includes over 60 hilariously rude & offensive jokes for you to tell your friends and family.

Closer To Velcro Shoes And Stinking Of Piss - Rude Birthday Card Closer To Velcro Shoes And Stinking Of Piss - Rude Birthday Card love
£2.95
7 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 175 x 125mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Another Bastard Birthday - Humorous Birthday Card Another Bastard Birthday - Humorous Birthday Card
£2.85
7 in stock
Say it like it is - with these hilarious birthday cards Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez See more of our funny Birthday cards HERE
Charades At The Monastery (Wulffmorgenhaler) - Funny Greeting Card Charades At The Monastery (Wulffmorgenhaler) - Funny Greeting Card best
£2.85
15 in stock
Briliant imagery and hilarious humour from the wonderful Wuffmorgenhaler range. You will be sure to giggle. Inside – Blank for your own personal message Envelope – Plain White envelope Size – 150mm Square Card Type – FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Redback Cards
Cocaine - Risque Birthday Card Cocaine - Risque Birthday Card
£3.25
3 in stock
Funny puns, Hilarious images, Brilliant cards for any occasion Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message. Envelope - Kingfisher Blue Size 105 x 150mm Card type - 300gsm Board Publisher - Quite Good Cards
3 Cocks And A Joke? - Humorous Birthday Card 3 Cocks And A Joke? - Humorous Birthday Card
£2.85
5 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Happy Anniversary of the Day You Popped (Blue) - Rude Birthday Card Happy Anniversary of the Day You Popped (Blue) - Rude Birthday Card
£2.85
9 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Happy Birthday Rug Muncher - Rude Birthday Card Happy Birthday Rug Muncher - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
2 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
NO IDEA EVERYONE ON TV WAS A PAEDO - Funny Birthday Card NO IDEA EVERYONE ON TV WAS A PAEDO - Funny Birthday Card new
£2.85
1 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
You Are The Champion Of The Motherfucking Universe You Are The Champion Of The Motherfucking Universe new
£2.85
6 in stock
This humorous birthday card is from Redback Cards and has a lovely soft touch feel.  From the New Modern Disaster range, these are simple yet effective takes on key occasions! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Envelope Size - 120 x 170mm Card Type - Soft Touch Finish Publisher - Redback Cards
30… And Still A Twat (Holy Flaps) - Humorous 30th Birthday Card 30… And Still A Twat (Holy Flaps) - Humorous 30th Birthday Card
£2.85
6 in stock
Hilariously rude and relatable 30th birthday card from the Holy Flaps range. Perfect for that one person who never got out of that personality trait. Even when turning 30! Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Neon Orange. Size - 170mm x 120mm. Card Type - High quality board. Publisher - Redback Cards
All The Best Cunts Are Born In November - Rude Birthday Card All The Best Cunts Are Born In November - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
2 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 175 x 125mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Appraisal - Humorous Greeting Card Appraisal - Humorous Greeting Card
£2.85
3 in stock
Brilliant take on Modern Toss' hilarious range of greetings cards. This will make anyone giggle. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Size - 128 X 172 mm Card Type - FSC Certified. Publisher - Modern Toss
At The Age When Your Body Is Fucked - Rude Birthday Card At The Age When Your Body Is Fucked - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
2 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
BIRTHDAYS ARE LIKE BUMHOLES - Rude Birthday Card BIRTHDAYS ARE LIKE BUMHOLES - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.95
24 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this, from their Proverbials Range, is simple, clean and clear. They are sized at 185 x 185mm, come with a brown kraft envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
Bullshitters Refresher Course - Humorous Greetings Card Bullshitters Refresher Course - Humorous Greetings Card
£2.85
5 in stock
Work - Brilliant take on Modern Toss' hilarious range of greetings cards. This will make anyone giggle. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 128 X 172 mm Card Type - FSC Certified. Publisher - Modern Toss
Buy That Twat A Card -  Humorous Birthday Card Buy That Twat A Card - Humorous Birthday Card
£2.95
3 in stock
Humorous Birthday Card. These funny cards are from Cheeky Chops. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple white cards with simple fonts let the words speak for themselves. Each card measures 208mm x 148mm. They come cello wrapped and blank inside for your own message.
Cant Be Fucked Anymore (Punctuation Network Event) - Humorous Greetings Card Cant Be Fucked Anymore (Punctuation Network Event) - Humorous Greetings Card
£2.75
4 in stock
Punctuation Networking Event - Brilliant take on Modern Toss' hilarious range of greetings cards. This will make anyone giggle. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 128 X 172 mm Card Type - FSC Certified. Publisher - Modern Toss
Congratulations On Completing Pornhub (Thirty Mussels Range) - Rude Birthday Card Congratulations On Completing Pornhub (Thirty Mussels Range) - Rude Birthday Card
£2.85
5 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Forty And Still Fit As Fuck - Rude 40th Birthday Card Forty And Still Fit As Fuck - Rude 40th Birthday Card
£2.95
18 in stock
Rude humour 40th Birthday card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Happy Birthday From The Cat (Now Fuck Off) - Humorous Greeting Card Happy Birthday From The Cat (Now Fuck Off) - Humorous Greeting Card best
£2.85
6 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilariously rude birthday card Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez.
Happy Birthday Gay Lord -  Rude Birthday Card Happy Birthday Gay Lord - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
1 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Happy Birthday You Batshit Crazy Legend - Contemporary Birthday Card Happy Birthday You Batshit Crazy Legend - Contemporary Birthday Card
£2.75
2 in stock
This is a super cute, yet witty Birthday card with wonderful illustrations on the front. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - A high quality matching envelope Size - 145mm Square Card Type - Printed on a high quality, textured card Publisher - Rosie Made A Thing
Happy Birthday You Fucking Muppet - Rude Birthday Card Happy Birthday You Fucking Muppet - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
3 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 175 x 125mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
How Big Are You? - Adult Greeting Card How Big Are You? - Adult Greeting Card
£2.75
16 in stock
Just How Big Are You? See how your partner stacks up with this cheeky card. Measuring 100 x 210mm, it is printed on high quality 350gsm silk card. A blank canvas inside, it�s perfect for many occasions, and comes with matching pink envelope.
I Do Not Spew Profanities (Holy Flaps) - Humorous Greetings Card I Do Not Spew Profanities (Holy Flaps) - Humorous Greetings Card
£2.85
8 in stock
Hilariously rude and relatable cards from the Holy Flaps range. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Neon Orange. Size - 170mm x 120mm. Card Type - High quality board. Publisher - Redback Cards
I F*cking Love You - Humorous Greeting Card I F*cking Love You - Humorous Greeting Card
£2.85
4 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilariously rude Greetings card for a loved one.This card could suit a variety of occasions such as a Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's or even as a Thank You card! Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez..
I Love You Sexy Fucker (Red) - Rude Anniversary Card I Love You Sexy Fucker (Red) - Rude Anniversary Card
£2.85
3 in stock
This funny anniversary card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
In My Bloody Battenburg - Rude Greeting Card In My Bloody Battenburg - Rude Greeting Card
£2.85
5 in stock
This funny greeting card is from their popular forest friends range. This range is based around a rude version of the sylvanian family. They feature the characters whilst changing the situation they are in to be a rude one... Rude sylvanian families? What can't you like in a funny card like this? Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Size - 150 x 150mm Card Type - Pre…
Jesus - Humorous Greetings Card Jesus - Humorous Greetings Card
£2.80
1 in stock
Hilarious puns, Hilarious images, May be slightly rude. The funniest cards for any occasion Inside - Blank for your own personal mesage. Envelope - Colourful Envelope Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - FSC Certified from responsible sources Publisher - KissMeKwik
Kirsty Fingered Phil - Rude New Home Card Kirsty Fingered Phil - Rude New Home Card
£2.85
5 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilariously rude new home card Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez.
Mid-Wank - Rude Greeting Card Mid-Wank - Rude Greeting Card
£2.85
2 in stock
This funny greeting card is from their popular forest friends range. This range is based around a rude version of the sylvanian family. They feature the characters whilst changing the situation they are in to be a rude one... Rude sylvanian families? What can't you like in a funny card like this? Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Size - 150 x 150mm Card Type - Pre…
My Condolences To Your Vagina (Holy Flaps) - Humorous New Baby Card My Condolences To Your Vagina (Holy Flaps) - Humorous New Baby Card
£2.85
7 in stock
Hilariously rude and relatable cards from the Holy Flaps range. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Neon Orange. Size - 170mm x 120mm. Card Type - High quality board. Publisher - Redback Cards
Nice Meal and Mandatory Shag (Pink) - Rude Anniversary Card Nice Meal and Mandatory Shag (Pink) - Rude Anniversary Card
£2.85
6 in stock
This funny anniversary card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Old. So Fucking Old. (Holy Flaps) - Humorous Birthday Card Old. So Fucking Old. (Holy Flaps) - Humorous Birthday Card
£2.85
10 in stock
Hilariously rude and relatable cards from the Holy Flaps range. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Neon Orange. Size - 170mm x 120mm. Card Type - High quality board. Publisher - Redback Cards
Older Wiser Still A Wanker - Rude Birthday Card Older Wiser Still A Wanker - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
6 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 175 x 125mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
One Of A Kind (Who Would Make More Yous) - Funny Greetings Card One Of A Kind (Who Would Make More Yous) - Funny Greetings Card
£2.85
4 in stock
Entertaining card from our friends at Objectables. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope -  Brightly Coloured Size 125 x 175mm Card Type - 300gsm matt card Publisher - Objectables

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