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Rude Greeting Cards

We believe that rude and offensive humour leads to the funniest cards we have ever seen. Whether it’s sexual jokes, strong language or just straight up abusive. We have the perfect rude greeting card for your recipient

There are a certain type of people that like rude cards and more importantly, you need to know the right people for these to pay off. You don't want to be sending a rude card to someone who is going to get offended... Which seems to be a lot of people nowadays.

We have hundreds of brilliant rude cards that can suit many different occasions. Be warned - some are very offensive and insulting! You can refine your search by using the left-hand menu - for example, you can filter by things such as recipient type or occasion. Here are some our favourite rude card categories:

If these cards are slightly too much for you, we stock adult/risque cards which include cheeky sexual innuendos or small swear words, we don’t believe they are strong enough to make it into our Rude cards section. This is where it gets a little offensive.

Our selection of rude cards come from many different suppliers - we've spent many hours finding the best products in the country, so all your offensive greeting card needs are taken care of! If you like rude humour, you should check out our blog post on rude jokes. This guide includes over 60 hilariously rude & offensive jokes for you to tell your friends and family.

BIRTHDAY AGAIN? - Rude Birthday Card BIRTHDAY AGAIN? - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.85
11 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
Live Long and Never Smell of Piss (Green) - Rude Birthday Card Live Long and Never Smell of Piss (Green) - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.85
16 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Anniversary Of The Day Your Face Rubbed Against (Orange) - Rude Birthday Card Anniversary Of The Day Your Face Rubbed Against (Orange) - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.85
1 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Couldnt Find Anything To Rhyme With Cunt (Vile Verse Range) - Rude Greeting Card Couldnt Find Anything To Rhyme With Cunt (Vile Verse Range) - Rude Greeting Card exclusive
£2.75
5 in stock
One of Creased's first range of self-published cards... Take a little verse, add a little vileness - what have you got?  'Vile Verse' of course! Sized at 145mm square, they are printed on superior quality board and laminated on the front and back for a lovely glossy finish.  Inside is uncoated and blank for your own words. Go on..you love a bit of vile, don't you?
Another Bastard Birthday - Humorous Birthday Card Another Bastard Birthday - Humorous Birthday Card
£2.85
6 in stock
Say it like it is - with these hilarious birthday cards Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez See more of our funny Birthday cards HERE
Happy Anniversary of the Day You Popped (Blue) - Rude Birthday Card Happy Anniversary of the Day You Popped (Blue) - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.85
7 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Happy On The Outside, Processo On The Inside - Funny Greeting Card Happy On The Outside, Processo On The Inside - Funny Greeting Card
£2.75
5 in stock
This is a super cute, yet witty Birthday card with wonderful illustrations on the front. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - A high quality matching envelope Size - 145mm Square Card Type - Printed on a high quality, textured card Publisher - Rosie Made A Thing
NO IDEA EVERYONE ON TV WAS A PAEDO - Funny Birthday Card BA5913 NO IDEA EVERYONE ON TV WAS A PAEDO - Funny Birthday Card BA5913 new
£2.85
5 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
All The Best Cunts Are Born In July - Rude Birthday Card All The Best Cunts Are Born In July - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.95
17 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Birthday Finger Up Your Bum - Rude Birthday Card Birthday Finger Up Your Bum - Rude Birthday Card
£2.85
5 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Pretty Rude but perfect if that is what you're after! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course).
Birthday Wanker - Rude Birthday Card Birthday Wanker - Rude Birthday Card
£2.95
13 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Even Though I Cant See You On Your Birthday  - Rude Lockdown Birthday Card Even Though I Cant See You On Your Birthday - Rude Lockdown Birthday Card new
£2.95
9 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Fun Day Out (Colin Is A Twat) - Humorous Greetings Card Fun Day Out (Colin Is A Twat) - Humorous Greetings Card
£2.75
5 in stock
A funny greeting card from Icon's Blush greeting card range. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Size - 120 x 170mm Card Type - Premium silk coated board including spot varnish Publisher - ICON
If Only Your Dad Had Shot Over Your Mum (Blue) - Rude Birthday Card If Only Your Dad Had Shot Over Your Mum (Blue) - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.85
14 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Oldies Anniversary - Funny Anniversary Card Oldies Anniversary - Funny Anniversary Card
£2.75
5 in stock
This is a super cute, yet witty Anniversary card with wonderful illustrations on the front. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - A high quality matching envelope Size - 145mm Square Card Type - Printed on a high quality, textured card Publisher - Rosie Made A Thing
21 Id Be Keeping That Shit Quiet - Rude 21st Birthday Card 21 Id Be Keeping That Shit Quiet - Rude 21st Birthday Card
£2.95
16 in stock
Rude Humour 21st Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Age 50 (How Many Days Range) - Humorous 50th Birthday Card Age 50 (How Many Days Range) - Humorous 50th Birthday Card
£2.75
4 in stock
This 50th Birthday card is from the How Many Days Range and is the cheeky wee things that celebrate each day the recipient has spent on this earth. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope -  Brightly Coloured Size - 145mm square Card Type - 300gsm matt card Publisher - Objectables
Any Cunt Can Write On Your Facebook Wall - Rude Birthday Card Any Cunt Can Write On Your Facebook Wall - Rude Birthday Card
£2.85
4 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Pretty Rude but perfect if that is what you're after! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Attention-Seeking Bastard - Humorous Birthday Card Attention-Seeking Bastard - Humorous Birthday Card
£2.85
2 in stock
Say it like it is - with these hilarious birthday cards Inside - Happy Birthday S'Pose Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez See more of our funny Birthday cards HERE
BIRTHDAYS ARE LIKE BUMHOLES - Rude Birthday Card BIRTHDAYS ARE LIKE BUMHOLES - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.95
8 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this, from their Proverbials Range, is simple, clean and clear. They are sized at 185 x 185mm, come with a brown kraft envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
Cheer The F*ck Up (Good Things Range) - Funny Birthday Card Cheer The F*ck Up (Good Things Range) - Funny Birthday Card
£2.85
3 in stock
From the Good Things range, these simple but funny cards are one of our bestselling ranges. So, get straight to the point with this brilliant birthday card. Inside – Blank for your own personal message Envelope – Kraft brown high quality Size – 150mm Square Card Type – FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Redback Cards
Clumsy Fuckwit - Rude Get Well Card AA3317 Clumsy Fuckwit - Rude Get Well Card AA3317
£2.60
18 in stock
Do you know somebody who has broken a bone or injured themselves? This get well soon card could be perfect for te clumsy fuckwit! Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message. Envelope - Matching White Envelope Size - 140 x 140mm Card Type - High quality plain white Publisher - Bawdy Designs
Congratulations On Completing Pornhub (Thirty Mussels Range) - Rude Birthday Card Congratulations On Completing Pornhub (Thirty Mussels Range) - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.85
14 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
First Fucking Card I Saw (Orange) - Rude Greetings Card First Fucking Card I Saw (Orange) - Rude Greetings Card new
£2.85
16 in stock
This funny card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! We absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Hoping Your First Word Would Be Mummy - Rude Greeting Card Hoping Your First Word Would Be Mummy - Rude Greeting Card
£2.75
6 in stock
This funny greeting card is from their popular Forest Friends range. This range is based around a rude version of the Sylvanian Family. They feature the characters whilst changing the situation they are in to be a rude one... Rude Sylvanian Families? What can't you like in a funny card like this? Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Size - 150 x 150mm Card Type - Pre…
I Love You Sexy Fucker - Risque Anniversary Card I Love You Sexy Fucker - Risque Anniversary Card
£2.85
3 in stock
This funny Anniversary card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it. The perfect adult anniversary card to let your partner know how sexy they truly are... Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pr…
MAJESTIC COCK IS A WELCOME BONUS - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Man MAJESTIC COCK IS A WELCOME BONUS - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Man new
£2.85
4 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
Nice Meal and Mandatory Shag (Pink) - Rude Anniversary Card Nice Meal and Mandatory Shag (Pink) - Rude Anniversary Card new
£2.85
5 in stock
This funny anniversary card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
There is A U in Cunt - Rude Greeting Card AA3915 There is A U in Cunt - Rude Greeting Card AA3915
£2.85
3 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilariously rude greetings card for any occasion Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez.
#congratufuckinglations New Home - Rude New Home Card #congratufuckinglations New Home - Rude New Home Card
£2.85
4 in stock
This funny new home card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
30… And Still A Twat (Holy Flaps) - Humorous 30th Birthday Card 30… And Still A Twat (Holy Flaps) - Humorous 30th Birthday Card
£2.85
1 in stock
Hilariously rude and relatable 30th birthday card from the Holy Flaps range. Perfect for that one person who never got out of that personality trait. Even when turning 30! Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Neon Orange. Size - 170mm x 120mm. Card Type - High quality board. Publisher - Redback Cards
40… And Still A Twat - Humorous Milestone Birthday Card 40… And Still A Twat - Humorous Milestone Birthday Card
£2.85
1 in stock
Hilariously rude and relatable 40th birthday cards from the Holy Flaps range. Perfect for offending that one family member or friend on tehir big 40th milestone. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Neon Orange. Size - 170mm x 120mm. Card Type - High quality board. Publisher - Redback Cards
Age 40 (How Many Days Range) - Humorous 40th Birthday Card Age 40 (How Many Days Range) - Humorous 40th Birthday Card
£2.75
6 in stock
This 40th Birthday card is from the How Many Days Range and are the cheeky wee things that celebrate each day the recipient has spent on this earth. We love this card because it perfectly reminds us of the harsh reality. Next year, no one will care... Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope -  Brightly Coloured Size - 145mm square Card Type - 300gsm matt card Publisher - Objectables
All The Best Cunts Are Born In April - Rude Birthday Card All The Best Cunts Are Born In April - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.95
11 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
All The Best Cunts Are Born In August - Rude Birthday Card All The Best Cunts Are Born In August - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.95
5 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
All The Best Cunts Are Born In June - Rude Birthday Card All The Best Cunts Are Born In June - Rude Birthday Card new
£2.95
9 in stock
Rude Humour Birthday Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops

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