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Funny Valentines Cards

Are you not a big fan of all the wet and soppy stuff on Valentine's Day? We're the same, we don't like how everything has to be romantic all of the time. It's nice sometimes but it's nice to move away from that stuff and just enjoy this occasion. This is the same for Valentine's cards. This is why we created this range of funny Valentine's cards, so that you can have a laugh with your loved one this Valentine's day.

In this range of funny Valentine's cards, we have a few different styles that could suit your relationship. You could go for something sexual, punny or even something rude. With over 100 funny Valentine's cards to choose from, you will certainly find the right card for your partner.

All of our Valentine's cards have been locally sourced from around the UK. We have taken a long time to find the perfect cards so that your recipient can be happy. If you would prefer something more general, please check out our blank cards for all occasions.

When treating your loved one on Valentine's Day, it's important to make sure you don't do anything wrong. We see this so often we decided to write a post about it so make sure you read our guide on what not to do on Valentine's Day. In that blog post we talk about the importance of finding the right words to put in your Valentine's cards. Which we can also help, with our 45 Valentines cards messages. In this blog post you can find funny messages to match your funny Valentine's cards.

You Are The Champion Of The Motherfucking Universe You Are The Champion Of The Motherfucking Universe new
£2.85
6 in stock
This humorous birthday card is from Redback Cards and has a lovely soft touch feel.  From the New Modern Disaster range, these are simple yet effective takes on key occasions! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Envelope Size - 120 x 170mm Card Type - Soft Touch Finish Publisher - Redback Cards
A Virtual Hug Birthday (Thirty Mussels Range) - Funny Lockdown Birthday Card A Virtual Hug Birthday (Thirty Mussels Range) - Funny Lockdown Birthday Card
£2.85
4 in stock
This funny card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! We absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
How Big Are You? - Adult Greeting Card How Big Are You? - Adult Greeting Card
£2.75
16 in stock
Just How Big Are You? See how your partner stacks up with this cheeky card. Measuring 100 x 210mm, it is printed on high quality 350gsm silk card. A blank canvas inside, it�s perfect for many occasions, and comes with matching pink envelope.
I Frickin Love You - Love Related Card I Frickin Love You - Love Related Card
£2.85
4 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilariously unrude Greetings card for a loved one.This card could suit a variety of occasions such as a Birthday, Anniversary, Valentines or even as a thank you card! This is the clean version... Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernand…
I Love You Sexy Fucker (Red) - Rude Anniversary Card I Love You Sexy Fucker (Red) - Rude Anniversary Card
£2.85
3 in stock
This funny anniversary card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
KEPT THE MAGIC ALIVE - Funny Anniversary Card KEPT THE MAGIC ALIVE - Funny Anniversary Card new
£2.85
1 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
LOVELY BOOBS (CRACKING PERSONALITY) - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Woman LOVELY BOOBS (CRACKING PERSONALITY) - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Woman new
£2.85
4 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
Mankini - Funny Greeting Card Mankini - Funny Greeting Card best
£2.75
2 in stock
This is a super cute, yet witty Birthday card with wonderful illustrations on the front. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - A high quality matching envelope Size - 145mm Square Card Type - Printed on a high quality, textured card Publisher - Rosie Made A Thing
Thanks For Putting Up With Me - Love Related Card Thanks For Putting Up With Me - Love Related Card
£2.85
3 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilarious birthday card Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez.
Words From The Art - Funny Love Related Card Words From The Art - Funny Love Related Card
£2.85
1 in stock
Part of the Multipuns range.... Hand drawn using watercolour, brush pen, and ink. Inside - Blank Inside for your own personal message Envelope - Colourful Illustrated Size - 150mm Sqaure Card Type - Printed in the UK on sustainable board Pubslisher - Jelly Arm Chair
364 Days Of The Year - Humorous Valentines Card 364 Days Of The Year - Humorous Valentines Card save
£2.20
6 in stock
364 DAYS OF THE YEAR - If your delivery address is Ann Summers, your secret is safe with us. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Matching Envelope Size - 120 x 170mm Card Type - High quality Publisher -  Daft Squirrel
All The Other Boyfriends Need Batteries - Funny Valentines Card All The Other Boyfriends Need Batteries - Funny Valentines Card
£2.75
3 in stock
This funny Valentines card has a high quality cartoon design on the front along with some amusing text Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope -  Brightly Coloured Size 125 x 175mm Card Type - 300gsm matt card Publisher - Objectables
Allergic To Flowers - Funny Greetings Card Allergic To Flowers - Funny Greetings Card
£2.85
3 in stock
This funny greeting card is from their popular Forest Friends range. This range is based around a rude version of the Sylvanian Family. They feature the characters whilst changing the situation they are in to be a rude one... Rude Sylvanian Families? What can't you like in a funny card like this? Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Size - 150 x 150mm Card Type - Pre…
Always Love Boobs - Funny Love Related Card Always Love Boobs - Funny Love Related Card
£2.75
3 in stock
Unbelievable range of the most rude cards on the web! If you don't get offended by any of these words then we take our hat off to you because we definitely don't! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - High quality kraft Size - 104mm x 148mm Card Type - FSC mix board from responsible sources Publisher - Sweary Card Co
Anti-Valentines High Five - Anti-Valentines Day Card Anti-Valentines High Five - Anti-Valentines Day Card
£2.75
1 in stock
This is a super cute, yet witty Valentine card with wonderful illustrations on the front. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - A high quality matching envelope Size - 145mm Square Card Type - Printed on a high quality, textured card Publisher - Rosie Made A Thing
BEAUTIFUL DONG (SENSE OF HUMOUR) - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Man BEAUTIFUL DONG (SENSE OF HUMOUR) - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Man new
£2.85
5 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
BEAUTIFUL DONG (SPARKLING PERSONALITY) - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Man BEAUTIFUL DONG (SPARKLING PERSONALITY) - Funny Love Related Greeting Card For A Man new
£2.85
1 in stock
Buddy Fernandez cards - they say it like it is. And this range, called Babbling, are bright, bold and clear! They are sized at 155 x 155mm, come with a bright yellow envelope and are blank inside for your own message. Printed on FSC certified sustainable card.
Best Fucking Boyfriend Ever - Humorous Valentines Card Best Fucking Boyfriend Ever - Humorous Valentines Card
£2.95
1 in stock
Rude Valentines Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves.This funny card could also be used for an anniversary or birthday due to it's style. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Best Fucking Husband Ever - Humorous Valentines Card Best Fucking Husband Ever - Humorous Valentines Card
£2.95
1 in stock
Rude Valentines Card. Certainly a direct kind of humour, hilarious nonetheless. These simple cards let the words speak for themselves.This funny card could also be used for an anniversary or birthday due to it's style. Inside - Blank for your own personal message. Envelope - Brightly Coloured Size - 208 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Card Publisher - Cheeky Chops
Big Boy - Humorous Blank Greeting Card Big Boy - Humorous Blank Greeting Card
£2.40
6 in stock
Published by Blunt Cards, these are exactly that - blunt! Inside - Blank inside for your own message (blunt or otherwise) Envelope - Matching Envelope Size - 170 x 120 mm Card Type - FSC accredited board Publisher - Blunt Cards
Boring Friday Nights - Funny Greetings Card Boring Friday Nights - Funny Greetings Card
£2.85
2 in stock
This funny greeting card is from their popular Forest Friends range. This range is based around a rude version of the Sylvanian Family. They feature the characters whilst changing the situation they are in to be a rude one... Rude Sylvanian Families? What can't you like in a funny card like this? Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Brown Size - 150 x 150mm Card Type - Pre…
Dear Sexy Fucker I Love You - Humourous Valentines Card Dear Sexy Fucker I Love You - Humourous Valentines Card
£2.85
2 in stock
This funny Valentines card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Dinner For Two - Humourous Valentines Card Dinner For Two - Humourous Valentines Card
£2.85
8 in stock
This funny Valentines card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Fabulous Love (Girl) - Same Sex Love Related Card Fabulous Love (Girl) - Same Sex Love Related Card
£2.75
5 in stock
This is a super cute, yet witty greeting card with wonderful illustrations on the front. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - A high quality matching envelope Size - 145mm Square Card Type - Printed on a high quality, textured card Publisher - Rosie Made A Thing
Fancy The Shit Out Of You - Humorous Valentines Card Fancy The Shit Out Of You - Humorous Valentines Card
£2.85
2 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilarious Valentines day card Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez.
Give Me Wood - Rude Greeting Card Give Me Wood - Rude Greeting Card
£2.60
37 in stock
Be straight up! (Excuse the boner pun) This rude card can be used for so many different occasions... Valentines, Anniversary & Birthday to name a few. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - High quality matching envelope Size - 150mm square Card Type - Printed on luxury textured 300gsm board. Publisher - Bawdy Designs
Happy Going Down On Me Day - Rude Love Related Card Happy Going Down On Me Day - Rude Love Related Card
£2.85
6 in stock
This funny Valentines card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
Happy Valentine Sex God Husband - Humorous Valentines Card Happy Valentine Sex God Husband - Humorous Valentines Card
£2.75
3 in stock
Super funny cards that range from the silliest of puns to some that are so blunt and rude they are sure to make you blush, even when buying them. a plucking good card to give to that special person! Inside - Blank inside so you can add your own pleasantries (or should that be pheasantries...?!) Envelope - Kraft Brown Size - 105 x 148mm Card Type - High Quality Board Publisher - Pheasant Plucker De…
Happy Valentines Day To You & Your Resting Bitch Face - Rude Valentines Day Card Happy Valentines Day To You & Your Resting Bitch Face - Rude Valentines Day Card
£2.75
3 in stock
This great card is from publisher Banter Cards and needs very little explanation! A great Valentines Day card for that special person! The card is sized at 105 x 150mm and comes complete with coloured envelope, cello-wrapped. Its blank inside for you to add your own words.
Hither & Dither - Humorous Valentines Card Hither & Dither - Humorous Valentines Card
£2.80
2 in stock
Hilarious puns, Hilarious images, May be slightly rude. The funniest Valentines Cards Inside - Blank for your own personal mesage. Envelope - Colourful Envelope Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - FSC Certified from responsible sources Publisher - KissMeKwik
I Choose You Over Prosecco- Humorous Love Related Card I Choose You Over Prosecco- Humorous Love Related Card
£2.60
1 in stock
Colourful and straight to the point - let your loved know how that you love them even though they aren't Prosecco. The perfect love related card for Valentine's Day or for your Anniversary Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Kraft Paper or White Laid & Cello Wrapped Size - 105 x 145 mm Card Type - FSC Certfied board Publisher - Veronica Dearly
I F*cking Love You - Humorous Greeting Card I F*cking Love You - Humorous Greeting Card
£2.85
5 in stock
Say it like it is - with this hilariously rude Greetings card for a loved one.This card could suit a variety of occasions such as a Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's or even as a Thank You card! Inside - Blank inside for your own personal message Envelope - Plain White Envelope Size - 145mm Sqaure Card Type - FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Buddy Fernandez..
I Love You (Dog Sniffing) (Good Things Range) - Funny Love Related Card I Love You (Dog Sniffing) (Good Things Range) - Funny Love Related Card
£2.85
4 in stock
From the Good Things range, these simple but funny cards are one of our bestselling ranges. So, get straight to the point with this brilliant card. Inside – Blank for your own personal message Envelope – Kraft brown high quality Size – 150mm Square Card Type – FSC mix from responsible sources Publisher - Redback Cards
I Love You More Than Checklist - Funny Valentines Card I Love You More Than Checklist - Funny Valentines Card
£2.85
5 in stock
This funny birthday card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)
I Wanna Cockadoodle Do You - Humourous Valentines Card I Wanna Cockadoodle Do You - Humourous Valentines Card
£2.75
1 in stock
These great Humourous Valentines Cards from How Funny are simple but impactful with their bright hand drawn illustrations and quirky humour. Give that special someone a giggle this Valentines Day. Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Matching envelope Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - High quality from responsible sources Publisher - How Funny
Its Valentines Any Chance Of Anal (#happyvalentines) - Humourous Valentines Card Its Valentines Any Chance Of Anal (#happyvalentines) - Humourous Valentines Card
£2.85
3 in stock
This funny Valentines card is pretty straight to the point and self-explanatory! Extremely rude and we absolutely love it Inside - Blank for your own personal message Envelope - Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope & Cello wrapped Size - 105 x 150mm Card Type - Premium Quality 350 GSM Card Publisher - Cardshit (pronounced Cards-Hit, of course)

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