What to write in a Birthday card?

You’re struggling for what to write in a Birthday card aren’t you? Well, you probably wouldn’t be here if you had already written it.

So, you must be sitting, staring at the 10th birthday card you have bought this year already. Wondering whether you should put the same message in this card as you have done in the last 9 cards.

Don’t be that guy/girl! It is boring and looks like you have put no effort into the Birthday card, especially if you bought a generic, unexciting card from your local supermarket.

This article covers the following birthday wishes:

Spice it up a bit! Firstly, you will need to take time in picking the best / funniest card for your recipient. It is a dull moment when you open a card on your 30th birthday which blankly reads “Happy Birthday”.

Now our little rant is out of the way, we will get onto the most personal part of giving someone a Birthday card… What to write inside!

We will start off with a few classics that you have read a hundred times.

Classic wishes to write in a birthday card

  • Happy Birthday
  • I hope you have a great Birthday
  • Have a wonderful day
  • HB – Simply, do not do this one, even if you are writing on Facebook
  • Wishes on your Birthday
  • Lots of love on your Birthday
  • Wishing you all the best on your special day.
  • HBD to someone who deserves a truly happy day.

Do you see what we mean? You have either written these messages a million times or you have received them in cards. But you already knew those, we’re here to give you something new and unique.

Although, there is nothing wrong with the above, these are probably suited to work colleagues or people you don’t know very well.

We’ll start by giving you some loving Birthday card messages. Or wet as we would like to call them. These are the type of messages you may send to a close family member or friend:

Loving birthday wishes

  • Happy Birthday to the friend or family member I couldn’t live without!
  • Another year has passed being the best friend I could ask for.
  • Thinking of you on your Birthday, hoping you have the best day for the best person
  • Here is to you getting older and wiser!
  • Happy Birthday to my favourite person, dearest friend, closest companion, and love of my life!
  • Good things happen to good people! Have an amazing day.
  • Happy birthday to someone who is forever young.
  • I Hope These Brighten Your Day, As You Always Brighten Mine. (With flowers)
  • May this special day bring you joy and happiness.
  • Wishing you nothing but love & special moments all day long!

As you can see, they are very loving and quite sweet! Great for close friends or family members but if you would like something a bit more directed at your friend. Check out our birthday wishes for friends below.

happy birthday candles

What to write in a birthday card for a friend

  • I feel so lucky to have you as my friend. Hope your birthday is as special as you are.May all of your dreams come true. Thanks for being such a great friend. Happy birthday!
  • I am grateful for your friendship. I hope your birthday is amazing as you are, my best friend!
  • I hope your birthday is as sweet as the cake. And the year to follow is filled with as much joy as you bring your friends!
  • To the best friend I have ever known, here’s wishing you a joy-filled birthday with memories galore!
  • Happy Birthday mo my fantastic friend. I hope this is the beginning of the best year ever! Have a wonderful day
  • Happy Birthday to my friend! I am very lucky to have a great friend like you in my life. Have the happiest birthday ever!
  • Age is a case of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • Awesome guy/girl. Awesome friend. And you deserve an awesome year!
  • We can totally be ourselves with each other — I love that about us.
  • Forever young. Forever friends. Forever grateful for you.
  • You’re more than a friend, you’re family to me — and I’ll always be here for you.
  • I wish you all the finest things in life, my dearest friend because a royalty like you deserves the best. Happy Birthday! May you have an awesome day.
  • Birthday greetings to a very special person! May your day be just as wonderful as the person you are
  • A good friend will remember your birthday. A great friend will forget how old you are.
  • We have been through some ups and downs but tonight we will celebrate like its (Year from your childhood)
  • With a friend like you, even the bad times are good!
  • Happy birthday bestie! You have now reached (X age) That is something I will celebrate tonight
  • We have been friends for X years. But tonight, we will party like it’s our first night together
  • Have an amazing birthday bestie! Thank you for all that you have done for me. Especially during my messy years.
  • Happy birthday to the best friend I could ever ask for

While we are on the subject of sweet and loving birthday messages, we may as well get the cringey ones out of the way. Can you guess who these are going to be targeted towards?

You guessed it! It’s for the lovers!

A lot of these are going to be quite similar to the valentine’s card messages blog post we did in February. You can find over 45 card messages for your spouse.

Cute Birthday wishes for lover

  • May your birthday be as sunny as your smile, and as beautiful as you are! Today you shine the brightest. Happy Birthday
  • I wish your birthday is as beautiful and full of love as you are. You deserve only the best
  • I am so happy we can spend another birthday together. Here’s to the next! Happy birthday
  • You are the best thing that happened in my life, and I wish you the very best birthday
  • Thank you for bringing so much happiness to my life. I hope you have a happy birthday.
  • Happy birthday to the best (Boyfriend Wife etc) in the world. I wanted to plan you a surprise birthday party but we both know I can’t keep a secret.
  • Happy Birthday to the hottest (Insert Girlfriend etc) in town. They have got nothing on you!
  • I’m not clingy, I just never want to let you out of my sight…ever! Have a happy birthday, (Insert pet name)!
  • Happy birthday from you last (Husband etc) you will have. To many more Birthday’s!
  • Happy Birthday (Pet name)! in case you didn’t already know… I really, really like you.
  • Happy birthday to a special person who is bringing so much joy to my heart. I am thankful for every moment we spend together, and I hope our happiness never ends.
  • I wish your birthday is as beautiful and full of love as you are. You deserve only the best, and I wish that for you Best wishes my love.
  • You are the best thing that has happened in my life, and I wish you have an awesome birthday. You deserve it my love, and I will make sure your dreams come true.
  • I am the luckiest person on Earth because I have the most wonderful person by my side. Thank you for being my rock, Happy Birthday!
  • You are a special person for me. So, you are going to receive a special place in my heart and special wishes for Birthday as a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. Happy Birthday
  • Happy birthday to the hottest and the most cheerful person on the planet! May your day be extremely fun and exciting!
  • Happy birthday! I guess it’s time for some birthday sex?
  • This year your present is me. You can find out what that means later…

Cringey weren’t they?

We’re fed up of the nice & loving Birthday messages now. It’s time for some good old laughter don’t you think?

Here are our favourite 25 funny Birthday card messages. We guarantee you will find something for your birthday card in this section. Unless you are boring…

Funny birthday wishes

  • What’s the use of a lighter? We are going to need a flame thrower to light all of those candles.
  • Enjoy the wrinkles!
  • One year closer to pushing up daisies.
  • You can do anything when you put your mind to it, except get younger.
  • Don’t think of another Birthday as getting older, think of it as becoming vintage.
  • You are officially at an age where you have to scroll a fair bit down to find your age when filling out forms.
  • You’re old enough to know better… than to expect any present from me.
  • You should be happy you are approaching OAP age.  This year you are wiser, smarter and very close to reaping the benefits of senior discounts at restaurants.
  • You’re going to need a fireman hose to put out all those candles.
  • Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
  • You’re a hard person to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything.
  • Two tips on your birthday this year 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it 2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
  • You’re not old until you can’t read this anymore (Write this is small text so they have to get their reading glasses out)
  • Happy Birthday! You’re one step closer to being dead!
  • Have you got your pensioners bus pass yet?
  • You have reached the age where all compliments come with the ending “for someone your age”
  • Happy birthday to you
    You live in a zoo
    You look like a monkey
    And you smell like one too – Old time classic from primary school!
  • Mid life crisis just around the corner… Happy Birthday!
  • You’re turning … which means it’s probably time for some Botox
  • You’re at the age where your memory is fading, did I need to remind you of your age today?
  • We get it, you’re young at heart, because you certainly don’t look it
  • It’s time to stop lying about your age and embrace becoming elderly
  • Is it bad to say that I thought you were older than you are?
  • As another year passes by, another part of your body starts to fall apart.
  • Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it
  • On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lie about your age.
  • Warning! I think your postman is stealing all the money I put in your cards…
  • One year closer to becoming a crazy cat lady!
  • Don’t worry about the future, I’m sure you’ll have a bright one. Don’t worry about the past, you can’t change it. Don’t worry about the present, I don’t have one for you!
  • Happy birthday! Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Remember, the older you get, the closer you get to having them choose a nursing home.
  • Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us we’re one year closer to dying.
  • Happy centre of attention day!
  • They say you are what you eat, but I don’t remember you eating an absolute legend!
  • I wouldn’t miss your Birthday for anything. After all, you’re going to give me some great chocolate cake! Happy Birthday to you.
  • Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
  • Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.
  • Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
  • Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better! But along with old age comes the terrible hangovers
  • If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
  • I would say you look good for our age but honestly you’re already saggy enough to be considered an OAP
  • You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
  •  If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
  • On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
  • I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
  • All your life you stopped us from asking your age, and now you’re too old to remember it.. well nonetheless happy birthday

What did you think of those?

We hope you could include some of our funny birthday messages in a funny birthday card, make sure you personalise them to your recipients liking. We are just here to provide you with ideas.

As you can tell, there is a common theme among most funny birthday messages. Which is abusing someone about their age. But maybe the above greetings might be a little too innocent for your liking?

Don’t worry we have got you covered; you should know how much we like our rude humour.

Let’s get into 15 rude birthday messages to write in your cards;

Rude birthday wishes

  • Happy Birthday you (insert rude word), you’re old as fuck!
  • It may be your birthday but I’m doing fuck all for you
  • It’s now time to grow the fuck up, you child
  • You’re turning (age) but you’re still a massive cunt
  • That makes it 40 years since you have touched your mum’s vagina
  • Your mum should have just swallowed you!
  • (how many years they have been alive) and 9 months ago, your Dad was ploughing into your mum… I just wanted to remind you of that
  • Happy Birthday! Your tits will now begin to get saggy
  • Happy Birthday! Say goodbye to a happily working penis
  • Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
  • I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
  • We’re going to fuck for the same amount of minutes as your age. Let’s just say, we’re going to be there a long long time
  • You might be old but your still a dickhead
  • Congrats on getting old you wrinkly bitch

We hope the above suit your disgusting humour. Rude birthday card messages can be fairly easy to come up with if you know the right type of words to use. Because you can make every funny card message into a rude one if you know how.

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