Top 20 Actually Funny Birthday Cards

20 Actually Funny Birthday Cards

Love them or hate them, cards remain a central part of the birthday tradition. Increasingly people are turning away from tired, cliché-ridden cards and towards fresher, funnier designs. Not every Birthday card has to be ‘bad’ – it can be delightfully tacky, downright offensive and coincidentally, quite funny.

Today we’ve delved into the most humorous corners of our site for a look at 20 of the funniest birthday cards we love, which are sure to get even grumpiest of sod’s sides splitting.

Jokes about someone’s age provoke a variety of reactions. When you’re 12 and it’s your Mum’s 40th birthday, you’ll likely find a card about her age hilarious. She will most likely not. If you’re going to bring attention to someone’s age, the key is to be clever about it so they can’t be too cross.

Did you know we are currently in the golden age for Birthday Cards?

We are no longer receiving those generic Birthday cards that you could buy in multi-packs from the local Tesco. There are so many options to choose from thanks to the digital age and the advancements in design.

Therefore, this has led to people moving away from the typical Birthday cards and onto something much funnier.

Nowadays it’s hard to even look at the traditional cards when you have such a huge variety of better cards to choose from.

Here are 20 of our current favourite birthday cards!

Funny Birthday Cards

20. One year closer to death

One Year Closer To Death - Humorous Birthday Card

This macabre take on ageing is great for fans of dead-pan humour, and a great choice for your friend who is panicking about turning 30 without the Facebook engagement pics to prove it. Just maybe don’t send it to your widowed Grandmother, yeah?

Be careful with this choice of card, some people may take offence to this, especially if they are all grey and old…

19. Tosser

Tosser - Humorous Greeting Card (Cat Related)

You’ve seen this birthday card a million times before. It’s by far, one of our best-selling cards.

For animal lovers, this funny birthday card offers a witty take on the furry friend card theme. The purrfect card for that friend with a miserable moggy, or for that family member who loves their cat a bit too much and needs to be reminded who really belongs in the will.

We’re not surprised this card does so well, how many of you believe your cat loves you… but deep down, your cat would leave you for another owner as soon as they provided, he/she with some food. Just let that sink in…

If you love sending funny birthday cards but are terrible at remembering dates, you might rely heavily on social media to jog your memory. If you see it’s a close friend or family member’s birthday on Facebook, chances are the opportunity to get a card to them in time has long since passed.

18. I didn’t forget

Didnt forget - funny belated birthday card

Let’s face it, when you get older it becomes harder to remember birthdays, we’re all just so busy! But in all honesty, if it’s a close friend or member of the family. You shouldn’t forget, but it happens…

Why not break the ice with a belated birthday card letting them know you didn’t actually forget their birthday… You just, errr, got trampled by a crazed ostrich?

17. Family member least ashamed to be related too

Family Member Im Least Ashamed To Be Related To (Cloud Nine) - Humorous Birthday Card

We all have it, those family members you have to speak to when you go to those big family gatherings. Which by the way, does anyone enjoy?

Anyway, back to those annoying family members. You know the ones who you look at and think, surely, I’m not related to you? It could be your second cousin who has featured on Jeremy Kyle or your nutjob uncle who you feel like must have killed someone?

Whoever it is, this card is perfect for that one person you’re not too ashamed to be related too.

16. Making birthdays great again

Making Birthdays Great Again - Humorous Birthday Card

Is there much we need to say about this orange man?

His whole stay in the White House has been built around hate and, of course, memes. Every single week he seems to post another ridiculous tweet which gets destroyed in the press.

Hey ho, he’s good to laugh at, especially if your recipient loves a good Donald Trump joke.

15. Happy Bee Day

Happy Bee Day - Humorous Birthday Card

We all love puns, especially if they are related to our favourite insect. There seems to be a huge trend for bees at the moment. Every Instagram influencer seems to have a bee tattoo, necklace or some other piece of jewellery.

As a result of this trend, we’d thought we’d show you his funny birthday card covered in bee puns!

14. Any drugs? Alcohol?

Got Everything - Humorous Greetings Card

This sounds like a pretty lively birthday for this driver. We assume that the driver is only carrying these items and has not already drunk or taken drugs. Wait until you get to your destination before you start all that…

It does confuse us why police ask this question. If you had any illegal substances on you, you aren’t likely to tell them, are you?

Don’t see this card as an influence, drugs are bad and must be avoided…

*This card is in no way supporting drink/drug driving*

13. Fountain of youth

fountain of youth - funny birthday card

Sorry to break it to you old, wrinkly and grey-haired people but… There is no special fountain of youth or formula to get you looking and feeling young again.

Did you know there actually was a fountain of youth? The Fountain of Youth is a spring that supposedly restores the youth of anyone who drinks or bathes in its waters. This tale was first discovered to be around in the 5th Century BC. Pretty cool right?

Well no, it’s a tale, and although this bath probably did exist, we highly expect it didn’t restore your fresh babyface.

12. One year nearer the grave

heres a bit of glitter - funny birthday card

Similarly, to the card earlier in the blog, although, this one has a bit more of a sarcastic edge to it…

With this card, you can put them down a few levels just to attempt to bring them up again with a gift of glitter. Hilariously half-assed, we love it!

11. Bad Influence

Bad influence - funny birthday card

Lifelong friends are great, aren’t they? You have all those years of memories, of all the bad decisions you’ve made, all the mess and all the fun.

But it gets to a point in your friendship where you are still acting like you’re 21 again, but neither of you are grown up enough to be a good influence.

This funny birthday card is perfectly relatable to remind your friend, you are both a bad influence.

Humorous Birthday Cards

We have 10 funny birthday cards left, what’s your thought on our top 20 birthday cards so far?

10. Surprise my liver

Just to surprise my liver - humorous birthday card

Big fan of your gin? Or your vodka cranberries? Sometimes it’s good to have a little break from all the alcohol you’ve consumed over the weekends. Especially in your 20s, you’d need an ocean to recover your liver from that much drinking!

This card is perfect for the drinkers out there, surprise your liver, stay hydrated… then drink a little more.

9. You’re welcome

waffle - humorous birthday card

Does anyone else remember the days where you would receive hundreds of birthday cards and presents then suddenly you have your 19th birthday and it goes down to about 1/3 of what you used to get. Sad times…

Well, this card is perfect, you can let them know that you won’t be getting them any presents, instead, this funny birthday card telling them that this is all they will get.

8. You look like a before picture

before picture - funny birthday card

We all know someone like this… It may be horrible, but we all know those people who have been going to slimming world for years yet have never posted an update to their before picture. And if they do, they are celebrating losing one pound of weight…

Another meaning for this card could be just to rinse your ugly friend… Funny right?

7. We’re gonna need more candles

Gonna need more candles - funny birthday card

Just a heads up, this begins at 30. Before then you are still considered young but as soon as you hit the big 3-0 you start to feel old. When you get to this point as well, it’s too difficult to fit 30 candles onto a cake.

This leads to purchasing milestone birthday candles because it’s just impossible to fit that many candles on a cake. So basically, this funny birthday card is for anyone over the age of 30. You’re welcome old people!

6. A number of years ago

This day a number of years ago - humorous birthday card

We have plenty of friends or family members who we have no clue how old they are. Either because you just don’t care or you’re just very forgetful.

Therefore, Deadpan came up with this funny birthday card. It perfectly executes how to say happy birthday when you don’t care how old they will be.

5. Back massage

back massage - humorous birthday card

How relatable is this card? Have you even got into the actual back massage before their intentions change?

We just wanted a back massage! Why does it always change? The knots in my back won’t get rid of themselves…

4. Low cost and in a hurry

low cost and in a hurry - funny birthday card

Have any of you had to put your parents/grandparents into a nursing home yet? It can be a very difficult decision, with plenty to choose from.

In the end though, are you going to be a horrible child/grandchild and put them into somewhere to save yourself some money. Or are you going to be stingy and pick something low cost and quick because you want that new handbag?

Make your decision wisely…

3. Dad I’m Pregnant

Dad i'm pregnant - funny birthday card

We love this one! Give your dad a bit of a heart attack on his birthday with this funny card.

Let’s hope he doesn’t have his glasses with him so he can’t read the bottom bit. This gives more time for him to believe it!

A nice touch to this, if he would love you to be pregnant, would be to put a message inside explaining that you are actually pregnant. I’m sure that’ll make him the happiest soon-to-be-grandad out there.

2. When I say happy, I mean drunk

I mean drunk - funny birthday card

Big birthday celebrations are always great. We’re not sure why but everything tends to be better on your birthday. Go out get free drinks off your friends and get absolutely smashed! The whole feeling around drinking on your birthday is just so much better than a typical Saturday night!

1. Get you a nasty look

Nasty look - funny birthday card

We know it’s their birthday and you should probably be nice to them. But… We think it’s much more fun to be a bit horrible on their birthday. It brings you enjoyment doesn’t it?

That’s the final card in our top 20 list of funny birthday cards.

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