The Funniest New Baby Cards

William and Kate’s baby fever has got everyone talking since the announcement was made nearly 9 months ago.  With the royal baby being ready to drop any day now, it’s probably time for us to show you some of the very best new baby cards around. This list is packed full of hilarious cards that’ll be sure to get those sleep-deprived parents laughing again.

You’ve Had A Little Human - Humorous New Baby Card (Cats Are Twats Range)


We start the list today with the very popular Cardshit here at Creased.

I bet William and Kate’s pet hamster Marvin is quivering in his cage with the thought of a new baby coming to cause terror to his life. It’s not quite a cat but I can guarantee Marvin is still thinking the same. The hilariously rude new baby card that would be perfect for those parents with pets.



Condom Mistake - Rude New Baby CardCongrats On The New Kid (Condom) - Premium Handmade New Baby Card by Fracas Studios






Got a couple who are popping out baby after baby? (such as William and Kate!) Or maybe a couple who didn’t mean for this to happen? We have two hilarious new baby cards to suit those situations. We couldn’t quite decide which one we preferred so we stuck them both in! One from Quite Good Cards that comes with a lovely surprise whereas the other from Fracas Studios shows the message quite simply on the front of the card. Either way, we believe these two cards are perfect for the occasion.

Given Birth To A Pizza - humorous new baby card



We all know someone who has had that awkward moment asking when the baby is due when the person isn’t even pregnant. This card is perfect for those pizza lovers out there.




Publisher Buddy Fernandez is well known for their statement-funny cards. The new baby range is extremely amusing! We had to cut it down to their two best.

Some Babies Are Proper Ugly - Humorous New Baby Card


Faces only a mother could love! Some babies are hilariously ugly and even if you think that their new son/daughter is, you’re probably going to have to lie. This card is perfect for that exact situation.




Your Fanny Must Be Smashed Up Congrats On The Baby - Humorous New Baby Card


Does this one really need any explaining? I am sure we can all understand what the card is saying. Extremely funny none the less.


Nothing Until Now Is Relevant - Humorous New Baby Card



This card is for the bragging type. They’re going to have to realise that their new baby doesn’t care about anything that has happened before them. Well until they grow a lot older and want to know all your deep secrets…



Flipping Heck A Baby - Humorous New Baby Card



Some people look great when they are pregnant but let’s face it, they still look pregnant. This is a brilliantly humorous card from our good friends over at Pheasant Plucker.


New Arrival Presents - Humorous New Baby Card





Now, who doesn’t love a bit of Modern Toss? We all know some parents with some spoilt brat kids. This card will be perfect for those parents who you know will spoil their kids rotten.




We wish all you new parents good luck in coping with the stress of the new baby but also to enjoy all the amazing times with them. More importantly to those people who know someone who is just ready to drop, head over to and take a look at our wide range of new baby cards!