Funny things to write in a Christmas Card
Christmas is a funny time of year in itself. Families get together and at least try not to argue. It’s when we give gifts out of goodwill, not just to receive them. It’s when some recognise the birth of Jesus Christ. Pantomimes fill us with Christmas cheer. It’s when our hearts are infiltrated by soppy films with messages of hope and salvation. Even the Queen of England reaches out a hand of recognition for the people of Britain…
Christmas is surrounded by a sense of laughter, which should always be encouraged – especially after a few Snowballs. But sometimes, especially after Dad’s most terrible Christmas cracker joke, we are left pretty much speechless. To make sure you don’t run out of words this xmas, we’ve put together a list of things to write in Christmas cards – enjoy!
If you want to skip to a particular section straight away, just click on the section title below:
- Sending Christmas greetings
- What to write in Christmas cards
- What to write in Christmas cards for relatives
- What to write in funny Christmas cards
- What to write in rude Christmas cards
Sending Christmas greetings – Why do we do it?
It goes back a long way, to 1534 in fact. Almost 500 hundred years ago the first recorded use of ‘Merry Christmas’ was included in a yuletide letter. In 1611 James I of England sent a ‘Christmas card’ which was more like a large ornamental manuscript which contained a picture of a rose, four poems and song – way more than the standard xmas card message we now send!
The custom of sending Christmas cards, as we know them today, was started in the UK in 1843 by Sir Henry Cole. He was a Govenrment worker who had helped set-up the new ‘Public Record Office’ or ‘Post Office’ as it is now known today. He wanted the cars to be available for ordinary people regardless of family wealth and social class, so he collaborated with his artist friend John Horsley. They designed a card and sold it for 1 shilling each, about 5p in today’s money. The three-panelled card had a picture of people helping the poor on each side with a family eating a Christmas feast in the middle. The marketing for Christmas cards was a bit dull back then though, with an advertising slogan of:
“Just published, a Christmas Congratulations Card; or picture emblematical of old English festivity to perpetuate kind recollections between dear friends”!
What to write in Christmas cards
It can be tricky to avoid the temptations of a simple and satisfying ‘Merry Christmas’, but pushing the boat out a little further with your Christmas cheer can really make the recipient feel yuletide celebrations.
- “Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the happiness your holiday can hold!”
- “May your holidays sparkle with joy and laughter.”
- “I hope the magic of Christmas fills every corner of your heart and home with joy — now and always.”
- “Our family wishes you love, joy, and peace … today, tomorrow, and always.”
- “May your family have a holiday season that is full of wonderful surprises, treats and nonstop laughter.”
- “Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the best this holiday season!”
- “Wishing you a Christmas that’s merry and bright!”
- “We hope you have a safe and relaxing holiday season.”
- “I hope your holiday season is full of peace, joy, and happiness.”
- “Happy Holidays! I hope all of your Christmas wishes come true.”
What to write in Christmas cards for relatives
Here you can see some of the messages that are perfect for relatives. From brother and sister messages to things to write for Mum and Dad, make sure you personalise for each family member.
- You can’t choose your family, but even if you could, I’d still choose you. Merry Christmas! Looking forward to spending some time with you this Christmas.
- Having parents like you is the best Christmas gift there ever could be.
- So glad we’re family…and so grateful for all the great Christmas memories we share.
- We’re going to have so much fun this Christmas! I can’t wait to cook up a storm and then feast like there’s no tomorrow!
- Your support over the last year has meant the world to me. Thank you for showing me the true meaning of family. Happy Christmas!
- I’m so thankful to have been blessed with such a wonderful family who I can share this Christmas with!
- I hold a special place in my heart for my family, the greatest gift of all. Let’s get smashed this Christmas!
- This time of year, I’m especially grateful for a family like you.
- I couldn’t hope for more at Christmas than a holiday surrounded by the family I love.
- Family is what Christmas is all about. So grateful for you!
- Happy Christmas Bro/Sis! Thanks for annoying me my whole life
- Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. To my dearest brother/sister, Hoping this card lights up your holiday season!
- For My Brother/Sister, Merry Christmas. As children, we spent every Christmas together. I couldn’t be more glad to be spending it with you again this year
- For My Brilliant Brother/Super Sister, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. Hoping this holiday season bring you everything you wished for
- I hope you’ve bring lots of alcohol this Christmas – We’ve got Mum & Dad to deal with
- I hope Father Christmas is good to you this year, even if you didn’t make it to the nice list again. The better sibling is always treated the best
- You’ve seen me good, bad, and in between. And you’ve stuck with me all that time. Sure, maybe it’s because we’re related and you have no choice. But still, I appreciate it. Merry Christmas Bro/Sis
- Brother/Sister, we are definitely siblings. Anybody can see that we are both the creme de la creme.
- Hope you’ve been working on those stinky feet. I would hate for Santa to pass you by because he can’t take the smell! Merry Christmas!
- You’re great..because you’re SO MUCH LIKE ME!! Merry Christmas!
- To My Brother/Sister, Nobody could replace you. Trust me; I could never give up rinsing you 24/7. Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas To My Wonderful Parents
- Dear Mum & Dad, Wishing you a happiest and joyful Christmas! Merry Christmas!
- Dear Parents, I wish you a very happy Christmas and holiday season. I hope you enjoy this day and every day of your life to the fullest. Love you.
- I think of you always, Mum and Dad, especially during the holidays. I hope you have the best Christmas ever. You deserve it.
- When I think about Christmas, I realise the best gift of all is two as my parents. Have an amazing Christmas!
- I know I have been a pain at times but thank you for all the amazing Christmas’ you gave me as a child. Merry Christmas!
- Very grateful for all the Christmas’ you gave me, I hope I can do as well as you done for your grandchildren.
- I can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to have you guys. Have a wonderful Christmas!
- Finally, I can spend Christmas with the most amazing parents on the planet! We’re gonna have so much fun together, as we always do. Merry Christmas
- Dad, are you ready for a big surprise? No? Then it’s time to do that! I promise that this Christmas will be the best Christmas ever. Be ready for everything!
- Do you remember Christmas when I was a child? It was amazing, I wish we could go back!
What to write in funny Christmas cards
- What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
- · Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
- · Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy.
- · What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? RUDEolph.
- · What do you call a singing elf with sideburns? Elfis.
- · Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!
- · How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
- · Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!
- · How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels!
- · Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!
What to write in rude Christmas cards
If you are looking for offensive Christmas card messages, here are 7 of the most wicked. We must advise, please only send these to people who have a wicked sense of humour.
- Happy Christmas you C**T/T**T/SH*TFACE/D*CKHEAD
- I hope you get f*ck all this Christmas because you don’t deserve anything nice
- You can’t use Christmas as an excuse for your weight gain because you’re already a fat f*ck
- Sorry your present is shit, I spent all my money on alcohol
- Santa comes once a year, just like you
- I hate this day, I only got you a fucking card because you always get me one
- Ho Ho Ho, but enough about what you are…