If you are as clueless as a divorced dad about birthdays, picking out a present feels like a Herculean task. Thankfully, some genius sod created “greeting cards”. Phew. So, if you ever wanted to shock as much as you impress, search no further. We’ve scoured our shelves to compile a list of 10 unique and unusual greeting cards that are guaranteed to provoke some kind of response.
Most of them grew out of it. Some of them still think it’s funny to steal your notepad and get scribbling, so that the next time you’re in a meeting, you and your colleagues are unexpectedly confronted with an impeccably drawn A4 dong.
Maybe it’s time to send them a not-so-subtle hint with this crude little number. Heh.
9. But what about the mate still hung up on ‘Your Mum’ jokes? Ruin their day with this crude number and we’re sure you won’t be hearing from them (or their Mum) anytime soon.
8. Ever wondered what would happen if animals suddenly became sentient and could speak to us? We would finally be able to understand why our cats are straight up bastards. I, for one, would be expecting this card from my dog.
7. Elderly people can be adorable. We often make the mistake of thinking that our grandparents were always this docile and innocent. However, there is more than meets the eye. After seeing this card, I had to call my Grandma.
6. Other people’s weddings are always fun; the bride is always beautiful and the groom is enjoying his last moment of total freedom. However, if you are a person of fine taste like myself then you may only have one thing in mind.
5. Have you run out of ideas on how to give your Dad a heart attack? If you want to see him almost topple off his chair, here’s what to do: first, buy this card; second, show this card; finally, call the ambulance. Always read the fine print, drama queen.
4. I don’t know about you, but we’re suckers for art puns here at creased Cards. If you are a person of culture, you should get your hands on this master piece.
3. It’s Valentine Day, you’re skint and out of ideas. Don’t panic! We’ve got the best solution for someone in your situation. Get this, then let your body do the talking.
2. Cheese must be one of the most wonderful things ever invented by mankind. Also, who doesn’t love a good food pun? Weirdos, that’s who. Get this for your dairy-loving pals in place of a cheeseboard from Waitrose because, you know… Cheese is EXPENSIVE.
1. Last but by no means least, a bestseller from us here at Creased. Because what’s funnier (or more awkward) than the ‘S’ rubbing off your Speedos?
We have all of these and plenty more unusual and unique cards over at creasedcards.com